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Jeanette Francis
04 August 2009 @ 11:42 pm
where you come from.

 Life is good. I have been dating the same guy for three months, and couldn't ask for anything better. The only thing that sucks is that I miss my best friend, and wish I could drive over to her house to see her. Yet, she's not there. She's gone. I feel a little empty inside, and it sucks. 

There are some things that suck about dating Daimen. All the girls who know him hate me. I can't even count how many girls have scowled at me since we've started dating. There are more girls calling me fake, ugly, fat, and just horrible negative things. However, they've never even said a word to me, nor have I said anything to them so I don't even know where they're getting this from. Probably from their imaginations, if they're even cool enough to have one. I made a funny. 

Even though that's happening, life is still good. I have had a pretty good couple months, and hopefully they'll get better. I can only hope for the best. 
Mood: contentcontent
Jeanette Francis
27 January 2009 @ 07:07 pm
And this one is for you.

So today was pretty interesting. I went to the gym and then did pretty much " absolutely nothing. Okay, well that's not at all true. I talked to Stephanie (of course) about her relationship problems because that's what I usually do. I mean, I don't mind doing it because they are my friends and I love them to death. I think that counts for something, right? Sure, whatever you say. Like this morning Erin called me talking about Curtis and how she is having problems with the fact that

So we pretty much talked about the fact that
Jeanette Francis
26 January 2009 @ 04:46 pm
So there has been a lot going on in my life, and I really don't know what to do with it all. I've been trying to figure it all out, but it's so scrambled up I don't think I'll ever sort it all out. It's just such a mess and now I just don't know what to do. Katie has decided to run from it all because she can't deal with it. I don't run, sadly. When my ship sinks, I'm going to have to go down with it. Maybe it's because I'm stronger than her, or maybe I have too much pride. Integrity gets the best of me, I suppose. 
Erin has been bothered enough by me, and I just don't want to pester her anymore. I feel like since I've started to hang out with her and the guys I've just stolen her life. She has so much fun with them, and she is just so happy. I don't want to ruin that happiness, because I can see that deep inside she is hurting. I don't want to hurt her anymore, so I'm going to leave them alone. But I can't say she's the only reason I'm not going to be coming around anymore. I don't like drama, but wherever I go it seems to follow me because I am like a sponge. Everything comes to me, and it stresses me the fuck out. So here I am venting all of my anger, sadness, happiness, and whatever else is left in me. 

Joe, well that boy has made me so confused. He was right, it is complicated. It's complicated because he makes it complicated. It seems like he tries to find things to stress him out. If he would just sort it all out in his mind he would be fine. I know exactly how it feels to be pressured over things like school, and just life itself. But the way he makes it seem is like it's the end of the world. But for some reason I still like him. I guess it's the energy the he gives off. It's that positive energy that makes him seem just so great. He has something to believe in, and he always has something to laugh about. But he runs, and runners are only one thing. I wish he wasn't a runner. If only he could face his problems, that would make life so much easier. I don't even understand why I am a problem. If I ask him then I'm just pushing him farther and farther away. So I ask his friends, and Erin. But Erin doesn't want to answer because that means she has to think about feelings someone else has for one of her friends. I know how much she doesn't want to do that. So I am just going to give up on the whole thing because if I stay I'm just going to go insane. 

Wait a minute, I'm already there. I'm doing this to myself.

I am just going to take a long shower and think. Oh, wow now I'm putting my thoughts on here. Okay, how about this? I'm just frustrated and I'm not making any since. I always talk in circles. You really want to know what kind of guy I want to meet? A guy that can understand me when I'm like this and make me calm. That's what I want. If you find him, then give him my number. 

Tags: , ,
Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Tunes: A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
Jeanette Francis
26 January 2009 @ 03:23 pm

Teen Fiction/Drama/Romance
314 Pages
$8.99 u.s. - Barnes and Noble

From the very beginning this book interest me. From the title, to the picture, from the first sentence "'Today the blackbirds are watching us from the power line.'" The characters were filled with some much emotion and to me they felt like they were real. I could felt like I could understand Francine and Nix and the way they felt about each other. When an author can make a reader feel this way then you know that they have truly fulfilled their job as a writer. 

Synopsis: Frances is a normal sixteen year old girl from everyone else's eyes, but if you were to look up her real name on the internet you would see that she is not just a brave girl, but she is also one with many problems. At the age of six, her mother had successfully killed her three sisters and almost killed her. But luckily she got away because of a man who was only supposed to be there to check the water heater. After eleven years she has no been adopted and has settled down in Alabama. But out of no where a man who calls himself her birth mother's lawyer brings her a letter. This letter pushes the past back in Frances's face and makes her run back to where she came from to find the one person she has ran away and hid from for eleven years. A boy, Nix, goes with her not as her friend but as her boyfriend. He is a handsome young lad with whit and much to teach her about herself, and life. There are many twists and turns, but in the end all is settled for her in the world she calls Fireless

This is book is for the kind of people that are used to twists and turns, and can relate to troubled childhoods. To those who want to understand, try and read this book and see how it works. The only thing that I didn't like about this book was the fact that it was very choppy at the end. But it all levels out with the chapters in the middle from her past. So if you are into a books that push you to read forward, then read this book. It will totally tickle your fancy.

Where am I?: Fireless, Alabama
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Jeanette Francis
25 January 2009 @ 07:55 pm

Mystery & Suspense
328 Pages

$17.99 u.s. - at any Barnes & Noble

I have to say that this was a very good book. It always kept me on my toes, and it will do the same to you as well. I give it a 3/5 because of the fact that I wish I could have heard a little bit more about the boy and how he became the way he was. That really did make me frustrated, but after a while I let it go because it was a mystery and suspense.

Synopsis:  It all starts out with a girl named Dusty who is sixteen years old. She lives in England in a very small town (kind of like in the movie The Holiday). She get a phone call one night from a stranger saying that he was going to kill himself and this is how it all starts out. After he says things that make her remember her very loved older missing brother Josh she goes looking for this boy to see what he actually knows. Sadly, her parents are now separated because of this whole ordeal involving her brother. Through the book she learns that this mysterious boy has many people who have been looking for him, and some that the mysterious boy claims is "obsessed" with him because of his ability. I'm sorry to tell you that the boy doesn't have a name through the whole book, and he just tells her that she can call him whatever she wants. This boy also has very mysterious powers that nobody seems to be able to describe, but once you hear about what he looks like it become even more interesting.

I definitely recommend this to people with an imagination and who like a bit of a thrill. It isn't written in cockney for any of those who are wondering. I've heard that there are some who don't understand a word of it, even though it is considered the "right way to talk". I understand it fine, so it doesn't bother me either way. But to those of you who like a bit of a sifi/mystery/fiction this is totally for you. 

Where am I?: England
Mood: deviousdevious
Jeanette Francis
25 January 2009 @ 07:24 pm
Life has been complete chaos, I must say. I mean, all I keep thinking about is how I wish life would be and not how it actually is. It's absolutely selfish on my part, and irresponsible. Last night I went to hang out with Erin, Joe, and Curtis. But in the end Joe was being really weird. I think that I might have just scared him away just like the rest. I can't help but think that every guy I'm ever going to meet is going to be either too immature to face a "problem" if that is what you want to call it or to much of a dick to be a great guy. 
I hate my life because every guy I got for is either one or the other. Stephanie told me that I should just wait and see how things go, but I have been waiting and so far it's just getting worse and worse. I really like him, but its like I have to be a certain way to be with him. I'm not one of those kind of people who are going to change them selves for someone. He's a "oh shucks" kind of guy from what people say. But really I like someone who is forward and speaks their mind no matter what the consequences might be. Maybe I've just been fishing with the wrong bait? Who knows?

Maybe I'm just meant to be by myself. I have no idea anymore what the deal really is. Every guy out there is just another jack ass (excuse my french). No wait a minute! FUCK THAT! Don't excuse anything. I'm tired of being polite. I think I deserve something, and I really don't know what that something is, but it's something. What am I saying? I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore. I want that "perfect" guy and as far as I am concerned there is no such thing.  Because everyone knows that perfect is just a bunch of bullshit. Bullshit BULLSHIT bullshit! I think this is just the pain medication talking. I need to get healed quick. I think I just need a good girls night where we just have a little fun, not bad fun, but just some fun. 

You know, get dressed up, go see a movie, and just enjoy life. Yeah, that's what I need. I want to just put on a nice dress, do my hair get on some flashy makeup and walk it off. I think I'll call up some of the girls and see if they are up to it. I know I wanna. But the question is, do they? I hope so because it would be so nice to have a good laugh and a good time. Good time, I like the sound of that. 

Tags: , ,
Tunes: This Love - Maroon 5
Jeanette Francis
24 January 2009 @ 01:51 pm
So on Thursday I got my wisdom teeth taken out. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. It didn't hurt that bad, and I can say that I'm not having much of a problem with it. This is now my third day with them gone, and supposedly I look like a chipmunk. Some people have given me new nicknames like "Alvin" or "Jeanmunk". Nice huh? Well, I'm not having much of a problem with it. Now I just have to get braces and then we got it all taken care of.  I'll probably have those on for about a year or two but they don't sound so bad. I'm just going to have to follow all the directions that they ask of me, and I'll get them off as soon as possible. I've learned that if you go into something with a positive perspective then you'll come out of it with not as many problems. 

So now I'm hopefully going to be hanging out with friends and just enjoy being back in society. Since I've been a little loopy for the past three days; okay very loopy. :P Well I really don't have much to post but I had to post something
Mood: bouncybouncy
Tunes: La La Lie - Jack's Manequin
Jeanette Francis
13 January 2009 @ 10:58 am
Look how the stars shine for you, and all the things that you do. I'm sorry but I don't have pity for anyone anymore. I don't feel sorry for myself, nor will I do the same for you.  I've been watching friends get broken up with and then I get offers from their ex's. Then I loose one of my best friends because she decides to sleep in her own shit and wants everyone to feel sorry for her. I'm sorry that I am being such a bitch, but in order to move on this is what I must do. I'm taking my time to leave, but in my mind I'm long gone. One year and I'm out of this mess of a town. 
All the beautiful is gone, and now all that is left is ugliness. Don't tell me how your life is off the charts and how I should just hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be better. When in reality nothing is going to get better because you are to lazy to do anything. Yeah, you heard me. You are too lazy, self centered, and sad. And it worries me because I know you'll never change. 

So now I'm taking my turn to move on from this. Stephanie and Robby broke up for the last time. Stephanie has been really torn up about it, and it's totally understandable. Thank goodness that this will be her last year, and then she can move on from him. I have to say that he is a complete asshole, and I don't care if he knows I said it. I'd say it to his face, and I could really care if he yells at me or not. I would yell even louder back; this I know. He then tried to get into my pants telling me that he knows some "tricks" which honestly made me laugh. I mean, it's okay to be self confident and all but that's just straight up ego. Which supposedly he shouldn't have because he isn't that great from what I've heard? The thing that just makes me giggle is that he said I look like a man, so therefore he has been fantasizing about a man. Too bad, I never thought he would be like that. I'm proud of myself though, because I decided to tell Stephanie about what he said. He told me I'm going to regret it, but honestly I would never regret telling my friend the absolute truth. He got it all wrong when he thought he could trust me. He said I'm a liar, but the funny thing is I must be a pretty good liar because he believed me and trusted me. I guess he learned a valuable lesson, don't trust best friends with secrets, because if they keep that secret then they really aren't the best

My trip to Monterey was absolutely wonderful. I got to just relax for three days and not have a worry in the world. I practically went everywhere from Capitola to Big Sir to Carmel and then back to Pacific Grove. I got to reserve the camping trip that I'll be going on in June with my friends (Erin, Joe, Curtis, and Nick). I'm really stoked about it, and I now need to buy me a better tent than the one I already have. I'm really hoping that nobody will back out at last minute. I'm going to try to make sure that everyone sticks to it. I have already organized everything and figured everything out that's how anxious I am about it. We're going to be in Big Sir for three nights and we're doing the 3-day-challenge. I'm going to loose I already know it. 

We all went out with Joe for his birthday last night. It was a lot fun. Until Joe started acting weird because we went to Hooters. We swore that we wouldn't tell anyone he went because he will get in big trouble. Curtis doesn't think so because it's just a restaurant it's not like he's doing anything horrible. He also has to get his hair cut pretty short. I'm kind of curious about how that will turn out. I really do like his hair long, but if he has to do it then I guess he's gotta do it. I asked Curtis if I should give up on liking Joe, and he wouldn't say much but he said no. So I'm happy about that because that means I'm not wasting time. I don't want to get my heart broken, so if that's the deal I'm not staying. But he is a sweetheart and because of that I like being with him. 

Tunes: Yellow - Coldplay
Jeanette Francis
03 January 2009 @ 03:56 am
 So it seems like I've been hanging out with Joe practically every day this week. I'm not asking, he's offering and for once that's nice. I guess that all the guys I've dated really sucked, but I'm not dating Joe so this doesn't really count. Let me rephrase: like/like. So right at this current moment I'm in unfamiliar territory, and I'm a bit nervous but confident (kind of). 

I figured out that I better start getting nicer like I once was. I think I've been hanging out with the bad guys too long, and they have spoiled me like I'm a piece of fruit. I used to be so helpful, generous, nice, and all the of the above. What happened? I became an asshole because the assholes told me to. I know, I'm a fool. Or maybe I'm a fool? Yeah, that's it. Another thing that is kind of awkward to me is that Joe doesn't even lift up his shirt because he says that's for when he's married. That's really weird to me, not a bad weird but a different weird. I'm not a modest person, at all. Most of you might be nodding your head in agreement, but now that I like I guy that has morals it's just unfamiliar to me. I mean, sure I have morals. Shut up! I do! But not the same as him. I'm the kind of girl that would be all for posing for playboy, but would rather be taking the pictures of them. But you get the point, I hope. 

I miss Katie a lot right now. I haven't seen her in a few days, and all during New Years I kept thinking about her. It sucks, because when I was sitting at the Mormon Dance because it as way too hot, all I could think about is how Katie would like the glow in the dark bracelet I was holding. I want my pudding pop! Erin thought I was just trying to be a drama queen, but honestly I did feel a little out of place. I was nothing like any of the girls. They all joked around about stupid stuff like kooties, and what boys do when they are nervous. I on the other hand joke around about boners, and different sex positions that you could do in the back of a car (like Katie's Vagina). I have no virtue, how sad. I'm not depressed about it, but these girls are really making me feel like a slut/skank/hooch/loose mama. Oh well, the point is I wanna see Katie before I go insane. 

My dad has noticed that he has another lump in his neck, and I can already tell you that I have a bad feeling about it. I really don't want to see my dad in anymore pain. I can say that my dad has had enough, but maybe God doesn't think so. Stupid man/woman/whatever! I just hope that we're wrong and it's just something that's not a big deal at all. 

Well, I guess you could say that I keep thinking the most negative things are going to happen to me. That either Joe is gonna stop liking me because I'm such a bitch. Or the fact that my dad might never get over this illness that we all call cancer. Or maybe even that I will never change, and that I'll always be a sloppy second for ever guy, even if they don't sleep with me. Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy: Depressing.

Mood: gloomygloomy
Tunes: Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls
Jeanette Francis
31 December 2008 @ 03:21 am
 As I listen to this song I think about all the bad times, and good times I've had. I know, what a load of bullshit! No, actually not to me. I mean, sure I've changed, kind of. But what I'm trying to get at is that it's a new year, and there is going to be a new me. Today was one of those days where I just cried but when I was finished I knew what I wanted, and how I was going to reach them. I thought about what I could have done, and how things were going to turn out. Because you know, if you think about it, its better to think than to just sit around with your head up your ass. Sorry for all the bad language, but I feel like being a dirty girl tonight. 

Anyway, as I was saying things are about to change this year. I'm about to be seventeen years young, and from what I hear I'm going to be growing up a lot more than I ever expected. I was thinking about how I always label everything that I write so that it's just in a topic. But I'm just so sick of it. I want to be able to have no limits, and no expectations from anyone; only myself. I want to be able to say that I did it on my own, and that I enjoyed every inch of it. I want to get into some prestigious collage so that my grandparents can actually say that they are proud of me. I want my friends to actually look at me like I'm one of them, and not just something that have to compete with. I want a guy to say he loves me, and when I mean me, I mean: the girl that he is sitting next to, who has all her clothes on, who doesn't have her hand down his pants, and who is smiling because she knows it's true. I want the real thing, the real life. I want to keep working with Roy and maybe even do something big with my Life. I want to learn, not just about photography, but about literature, music, history, and beyond. Maybe even proper grammar.  I love the fact that my spell check told me that was wrong. 

Erin told me something interesting tonight that actually made me think. A part of me thinks she's making it up, and another part is hoping it to be true. She told me that Joe and I would become an item today. My reply to that was "I'll hold my breath". I don't see that happening anytime soon, and honestly I would love to get to know him more. I don't want to rush into some pathetic attempt of a relationship. I want a friendship, a best friend, a therapist, a shoulder, and a cuddle partner. I want it all, but for him I would wait for the rest. He's absolutely amazing in every way. He makes me laugh, and he just has this thing about him that makes me want to keep smiling. Even though he's had his hard times I can see that he's strong, like me. Even though I don't know him, I can read his every move. I can tell exactly what he could and will be. From his beliefs to his attitude on life, I can see that he doesn't give up. As much as I would like to say I do, I know at the end of the day I know I don't. If I did, I wouldn't be who I am today, and I wouldn't have gotten this far. Erin wasn't done though, she also said that her and Robert would be come an item soon enough, but for some reason I really doubt it. A ouji board doesn't tell all, it just tells you what you would like to hear. Even though I didn't get to hear it, I know that Erin was just being the substitute for the game. 

So today I am going to be seeing Stephanie & Aierka after so long. We'll be going out to lunch, and then just hanging out for a while. Then around six I'm going to be getting together with Joe and Curtis and we're going to be doing something; not a clue what yet. Then we'll probably leave because it will get boring, and then we'll be with Erin and the bunch. It's going to be interesting, that's all I could ever hope for. Maybe even fun, which is something I hope is always there. 

Tunes: Angel - Sara McLachlan